Just a Little Surprise Read online

  I closed my eyes, determined to fall asleep despite the wind, but my cellphone chimed on my bedside table. My eyes snapped open, and I stared at the glowing screen.

  One New Message

  Derek

  I stared at the screen for a moment, contemplating whether or not I wanted to know what the message said. After I’d spilled my guts earlier and told Derek I missed him, he’d never responded. He’d never answered, never gave me the satisfaction of knowing if he’d heard what I’d said. I guess at some point he just hung up. I couldn’t know whether or not he missed me too, or if he had anything else left to say to me.

  But now he was sending me a message, and I didn’t know what to make of it. I guess there was at least one thing he needed to say.

  I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the sharp, cold air, and I somehow summoned the courage to open the message.

  (Derek)

  I miss you too.

  I closed my eyes and let his four little words sink in.

  And as if I suddenly had all the strength in the world, I pushed back the covers, rolled out of bed, and walked across my bedroom—effortlessly closing that damn window once and for all.

  Chapter Four

  Thursday, March 07

  “The man’s father killed your parents, Julie,” Matt said, slamming a vase on the counter. “How can you even give him two second’s thought?”

  I should’ve known that telling Matt about Derek’s phone call and text message would be a mistake. Though he’d taken to Hannah very quickly when the Milton duo first arrived in Oakland, he’d never been Derek’s biggest fan. And then after the shooting that put Luke in the hospital, Matt was certain—just as certain as Luke, in fact—that Derek was worthless, dangerous, and a threat to my physical wellbeing and emotional stability.

  “I wished for clarity, Matt,” I said, picking up a few stray petals that had fallen off his arrangement. “Doesn’t it seem a bit strange that his message came through immediately after I wished for everything to start making sense?”

  “I don’t get what you’re saying here,” he said, pushing a folder of order forms aside. He wiped his hands down the front of his apron and shrugged. “What kind of clarity are you looking for?”

  “Things have been so screwy lately,” I said. “Between Luke’s lies, your dishonesty with Charlie and Kara, and the things that Bruno discovered….” I trailed off because I didn’t want to discuss the DNA results with my cousin. Explaining that story meant giving in to more suspicions and more accusations. Matt would be curious and want an explanation, and I just wasn’t in the mood to handle a game of twenty questions.

  “Things Bruno discovered?”

  “It’s nothing—”

  “You mean the DNA test,” Matt said. “Right?”

  “How did you know?”

  “Word gets around.”

  “Luke,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Since when are you two so buddy-buddy?”

  “Since always,” he said. “Luke’s been coming around since long before you came to town, Julie. He’s my friend—”

  “Luke’s nobody’s friend but his own—”

  “I know how he’s tied to Rebecca,” he said, almost as if he had a leg up on me in the race to the truth. “And why would he tell me if we weren’t friends?”

  “He told you? I thought he said he’d never tell you—”

  “Not while I was reporting back to you,” he said. “But I’m on Team Luke, not Team Julie. You’re the one who’s being sneaky and secretive, not him.”

  “Wait a minute,” I said, holding my hand up. “He told you—”

  “All about Rebecca, Molly, his connection to both of them.” He looked back at the curtain separating the back office from the storefront. Turing back to me, he lowered his voice. “He doesn’t trust you with the truth, Julie, and you need to respect his decision to keep you out of the loop—”

  “Since when are you on his side?” I yelled. “Matt, you said yourself that you thought he was up to something. You’re the one who’s been pulling for me to find out—”

  “Julie,” Matt said, slamming his fist on the counter. “I’m not the enemy here. And neither is Luke, okay? He’s trying to protect the people he loves. And if you love him like you say you do, you’d get on board and just accept that he can’t tell you everything.”

  “It can’t be too big of a secret if he’s told you.”

  “He’s my friend—”

  “He was my boyfriend—”

  “You didn’t trust him. You still don’t,” he said. “And how can he be expected to trust you if you can’t show him the same respect?”

  Point taken. I didn’t trust Luke, and I’d made that perfectly clear over the past few weeks. So was that why he’d been so hell-bent on keeping his secret? I didn’t trust him, so he didn’t trust me? That logic didn’t seem justifiable.

  I had my reasons for not trusting him. He, however, had no reason to believe he couldn’t trust me. After everything he’d said… after everything he’d kept from me—the secrets about Derek, the way he pretended as if he had nothing to do with him disappearing, the way he’d secretly helped Matt find another job, the way he’d been sneaking around with Rebecca—I had every reason to think he was untrustworthy.

  So why was everyone ganging up on me? Why did it seem like the only person on my side was Detective Bruno?

  “I’m leaving—”

  “Tell Dad I’ll be home at ten—”

  “No,” I said, turning to take the door knob in hand. “I’m not lying for you anymore, Matt. If we’re not allies—if you’re jumping ship and joining Team Luke—you’re not going to reap the benefits of having my friendship. You need to tell Charlie you’re working two jobs, that you plan to propose to your seventeen-year-old girlfriend, and that you’ve been lying to him for weeks. Tell him, or I will.”

  “Julie—”

  “I needed you, Matt,” I said, turning back to him. “I needed you on my side, but you turned your back on me.”

  “Don’t do this—”

  “Screw you.”

  I stepped outside and slammed the door behind me. I only made it halfway down the block before I heard the bell over the shop door ring and someone step out.

  “I have nothing else to say to you, Matt,” I said, not turning back to look at him.

  “Julie.” But the voice wasn’t Matt’s. I turned to see Rebecca standing outside the shop, her shoulders slumped and her head hanging low.

  “Matt’s just confused, okay?” she said as if she had some kind of right to talk to me. “He doesn’t know whose side to take. Quite frankly, no one should be taking sides, but I’m done trying to convince them to give it up.”

  “I have nothing to say to you,” I said, clenching my teeth. It took every ounce of restraint I had to keep from pouncing her right then and there. But I had officially decided that Luke wasn’t worth the fight. Ripping Rebecca’s hair out might sound great in theory, but who would benefit from that?

  “Listen, I know this must be hard—”

  “Don’t act like you understand how I feel—”

  “I know you’re suffering,” she said, taking a step forward. “But all he wants is to protect the people he loves—”

  “And he supposedly loved me,” I said. “And then you stepped into his life, and all of a sudden I’m the one who’s toxic!”

  “Luke’s my brother,” she said, turning around to make sure no one else had heard her revelation. She took another step closer and kept her voice low. “And Molly, my daughter, is his niece.”

  “Bull—”

  “It’s true,” she said. “I came here to find my family, Julie—”

  “No one knows you, Rebecca,” I said. “Lonnie and Grace—Luke’s own father and step-mother—had no idea who you were until the day you stepped into that shop looking for a job. And now you’re telling me that those people are your family? I don’t buy it.”

  “Lonnie,” she said, looking b
ack at the shop. She lowered her voice to lessen the risk of being overheard. “Lonnie’s my biological father. He was married to my mother for six months shortly before I was born. One day he met someone else—Luke’s mother—and he left my mom. He left without as much as a goodbye. So when Mom found out that she was pregnant, she didn’t contact him. She didn’t want him to know, to come crawling back. She knew he’d want to help, step up and do the right thing. But he’d hurt her, and she was stubborn; she wanted nothing else from him.” She took a deep breath. “Lonnie didn’t know me… because he never knew I existed.”

  I watched her eyes fill with tears as she dropped her head to the ground. Her chest rose with heavy breaths; she fought not to let a single tear slip down her cheek.

  “You came to Oakland to find the man who abandoned your mother?”

  “I know it sounds crazy,” she said, looking back at me. “Because, yes. Lonnie left my mom. And who’s to say that he wouldn’t have done it even if he had known about me? But my daughter is six now, and my mother is dead. Luke… Lonnie… they’re the only family I have left. And if there’s any chance that I can make this work with them, I have to. Molly deserves a family.”

  A tear finally cut loose as she stood there, scarred and hurt.

  “I don’t think you’re crazy,” I said, dropping my shoulders. “You should want to know your father.”

  She nodded as if she was glad she had my approval, although my opinion shouldn’t have mattered one way or another. I couldn’t help but wonder if Rebecca had spent her whole life seeking approval from the people around her—family, friends, and strangers alike. Abandonment always landed hand-in-hand with a lot of emotional scarring; that was a fact I’d learned firsthand.

  “I lost both of my parents,” I told her, but I imagined she already knew. “If I had a chance to see them again—if only for a day—there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make it happen. I know what it means to have that hole in your heart, that hole that only your parents can fill. I can’t relate to your situation as it is, but I can relate in my own twisted way. And I think you’re brave, Rebecca. It takes a special kind of person to chase ghosts.”

  “I never meant to come between you and Luke,” she said, reaching forward. Her gentle hand landed softly on my shoulder. “That was never my intention, Julie. When Grace gave me a job at the shop, and Lonnie introduced Luke as his son… it was the first I’d ever heard of having a brother. And I went to Luke first thing. I thought he might be my ticket to getting closer to Lonnie.”

  “Guess you learned otherwise?”

  “I didn’t know just how damaged his relationship was with our father… and we’ve bonded over that. And when I introduced him to Molly, I knew I’d made the right decision. Luke welcomed her with open arms; she took to him so fast. He showed her the love and compassion that she deserves.”

  “Yeah,” I said, not doubting her for a second. Luke had it in him to be the most kind, caring, compassionate person in the world… he just had a very selective group of people he showed that side to. And lately—and for reasons unknown to me—I was no longer in that group.

  “I’m sorry, Julie. I know he’s been spending too much time with me and Molly… and he’s pushed you away. I’ve begged him to tell you the truth, but he’s so stubborn—”

  “Don’t apologize,” I said. “I shouldn’t….” I took a deep breath and nodded, hoping she’d understand that I didn’t expect her to do her brother’s dirty work. “I shouldn’t have heard all of this from you, Rebecca. I’m glad you told me; I’m happy I finally know the truth, I really am. But the truth should’ve come from him. And he didn’t trust me enough to tell me. So, I think that says more about our relationship than anything else. Luke and I were right in so many ways, but we were wrong in so many more.”

  “He loves you.”

  “I know,” I said. “But his lies, his dishonesty… it’s more stress than I have the patience to deal with. Truthfully, I’ve been a little short-circuited lately. So much has changed in such a small amount of time. This last year has undoubtedly opened my eyes to the brevity of life… and love. I just can’t deal with the games anymore; I’m not the kind of girl to sit around, and Luke’s not the kind of guy to chase. He thinks I’m toxic.”

  “I’m sure he didn’t mean—”

  “It’s okay, really—”

  “He’s sorry—”

  “You don’t have to apologize for him,” I said. “He doesn’t even have to apologize for himself. I’m not looking to make up with him, Rebecca. I’ve closed that door. I don’t want someone in my life who thinks I’m poisonous. I don’t want to hold on to someone I can’t trust, or someone who can’t trust me. I don’t want to spend every day fighting for someone’s attention. As great as the good times are, I don’t want to fight like hell to get through the bad times. And fighting… God, that’s all we ever do. I know love isn’t easy, but it has to be easier than this. I just want someone who loves me… someone who’s honest with me… someone who misses me when we’re apart. I want to laugh; I want to be happy again. I want….”

  She stared at me for a few long seconds as tears spilled onto my cheeks. She nodded as if she knew exactly what I was about to say.

  “Oh my God,” I said, reaching up and taking the necklace in my hands. “I want Derek.”

  “And that, Julie,” she said, pulling me into a hug. “Is exactly what Luke’s been waiting on you to realize.”

  Chapter Five

  Friday, March 08

  Kara and I ended up at Frank’s Bar & Grill for our pre-planned Friday dinner. According to my guesstimation, this was the first stage in the Friday-night-surprise-party-celebration. Kara was ordered to take me out, feed me, show me a good time, and keep me away long enough for Charlie to set up and allow guests enough time to arrive.

  And I was quite thankful to have some time alone with her. There were so many things I needed to talk about, things that only a girlfriend could shed some light on.

  Over appetizers—I settled for the blooming onion, because it didn’t much matter how bad my breath smelled. I wasn’t gonna be kissing anyone anytime soon—I told Kara all about the phone call and text message from Derek. I refrained from spilling the details about Luke and Rebecca; that wasn’t my news to share. And I certainly tried my best to convince her that the little spat I had with Matt was nothing to be concerned about. The last thing I needed was to worry her about choosing sides. But I was glad when she ignored my mention of Matt. She zoomed right in on the subject I wanted to focus on the most.

  “Did you text him back?”

  “Nope,” I said. “I didn’t know what to say. Part of me wanted to say if you miss me, then come home. But that would’ve been selfish. I’m one of the reasons he left. I reminded him too much of the life he needed to let go of. I couldn’t ask him to do something like that. I don’t wanna be one of those girls who expect everyone to give up their hopes and dreams just to make her happy.”

  “Oh, man,” Kara said, taking a drink of lemonade. She slouched a little further in the booth and fumbled with her straw. “You think he left because of you?”

  “Well, yeah—”

  “I thought you said Luke was the reason he left.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t know the details,” I said. “For all I know, I never will. I never gave Luke the chance to explain himself, and Derek never mentioned it when we talked. I think… maybe Derek still thinks I’m chasing Luke. And maybe he doesn’t want to get involved.”

  “You didn’t tell Derek that you and Luke aren’t together?”

  “No,” I said, pushing the appetizer aside. “When Derek left… Luke and I weren’t together. As far as he knows, we never got together. I never told him any different. It just didn’t come up.”

  “Are you going to tell him?”

  “When?” I asked. “I’ve spent months calling and texting him. I’ve left hundreds of voicemails. He’s never once responded. Wednesday was the first I’d heard from
him since he left. He obviously doesn’t want to talk to me, and I have to respect that.”

  “But when he calls again,” she said. “And he’s ready to talk… he should know the truth.”

  “Obviously,” I said. “I’d never lie to him. But I don’t think he’ll call. I think… I think he’s really gone this time. And then that brings me back to Matt,” I said, dropping my head. “I needed his support, so I told him everything. Well, everything except the part about Luke sneaking through my bedroom window on Wednesday morning.”

  “Yeah, he would’ve flipped—”

  “But he totally jumped down my throat without that information! I don’t understand what happened, Kara. He was the one who said he suspected something. He was the one pushing for me to find the truth. And he was helping me. And now… I just don’t know. It’s like Luke’s convinced him that I’m a monster.”

  “I know it’s easier said than done, but you need let everything Matt says go in one ear and out the other,” she said. “He hasn’t been himself lately, you know that. Give him some space. He’s stressed, and he’s taking it out on everyone.”

  “Yeah,” I said, knowing very well that Kara was probably still worried about Matt’s erratic behavior. After all, I’d finally learned why he’d been sneaking around. He’d been working two jobs to save money, money he needed to afford an engagement ring. And it’s not like I could come right out and tell her what I knew, but I’d done my best to ease her mind. Shortly after I’d learned what Matt was really up to, I’d told Kara that he was working two jobs to save up for college. It was the best excuse I could come up with without drifting too far from the truth. And she understood, talked to him, and things seemed to be okay between them. But she still had her weak moments whether she wanted to admit it or not. I couldn’t blame her for that.

  “So,” I said, desperately wanting to move the conversation as far away from my problems as possible. “Do you think you and Matt will make it long-term?”